Stop the baby mama drama!!

I would like to apologize in advance, this is more of a rant than funny/educational lol

It’s not about you anymore. This is what happens when you become a parent. You have to think about what is best for the children. Even when you and dad no longer work out, no matter what the circumstances are, you do what is in the best interest of the kids. 

I have been seeing so many moms lately where they feel the dad needs to earn rights to their children. That fathers who remarry are put through a shit show just to see their kids. Who died and made you a bad mom. You all know me, I support moms. From all walks of earth, I support you. So if I use the term “bad mom” that is exactly what you are. If you are making a relationship between your child and their father difficult or non existent because of a quarrel you have with them, then you are not thinking about what is in the best interest of your kids. 

A lot of you might not know this about me, I have 3 children. My husband is only the father of Tava. Ashton and Logan also have different fathers from each other. So if you are smart you can realize that I have 3 baby daddies! YUP! I’m a hoe! I own my hoe-ness. If I wasn’t a hoe I wouldn’t have the amazing children I have so don’t you dare judge my hoe-ness because I am truthful about it. Own your hoe-ness. Whether you are still a hoe or an expired hoe like myself.

With this family dynamic means I have not one but TWO ex’s I have to work with to make sure my children are well taken care of. We get along pretty well. It wasn’t always like that though. 

Now this is a story…I was going to use the lyrics from Fresh Prince of Bell Air but then thought nah in a slim chance they see this little blog I don’t want to get sued….

Of all the mess people go through with ex’s I went through a mess of one with Logans' dad. To make an extremely long story short here it is. My best friend introduced us, had a hand in why we split (lets be honest if it was meant to be then nothing anyone does can ruin it), married him, then had a child with him. WHAT??? Can you say drama? It was definitely that. Granted we are all past it and now know Logan is in the best situation in life to succeed and be loved. We are one big dysfunctional happy blended family.  Even though I was hurt in the past, I did not use that against Logans' dad.

So if you got baby daddy drama, make sure your kid knows none of it, and they have the opportunity to have an amazing relationship with BOTH of their parents! 

End Rant.

Why Am I Sticky

What the? How the? Why the?

What the? How the? Why the?

Were these questions you had during your pregnancy? Labor? Postpartum?

As new moms you are going to experience so many things that NO one warns you about! Well yeah you hear about the normal stuff. The none scary stuff like insomnia, weight gain, pain during labor, epidural, hormones, and maybe even heart burn. I am going to do you all the favor of listing all the things the doesn't get published in "What to Expect" books!

1) Gas- Oh man the gas is so bad! I know everyone gets gas, but we are usually able to clench it until we are in private or with people we don't care to pass it in front of. When pregnant? NOPE! You don't even know it is coming until BAM! Right in front of your mother in law who criticizes the way you BREATHE!

2) Discharge-  When you are pregnant I swear it pushes everything out of you to make room for that growing human inside of you. Before we'd be like "oh I might need a panty liner today". A panty liner wont save you! I suggest grabbing a pair of depends and sporting those bad boys! You know that joy of no period for 9 months? Well I'd keep stocking up on those pads you thought you wouldn't need to buy!

3) Grandma Panties- Cute thongs? Booty shorts? NOPE! You leave the hospital with the worlds largest pad and net panties to absorb the damn ocean! You can't wear tampons and a normal pad wont cut it! So before that pooping machine pops out of you go buy those underwear you swore of once you hit puberty!

4) Poop- Speaking of poop machines, you WILL poop during delivery. Ok if you get a C-Section you won't (or at least I hope you don't)! People will lie to you and say "NO! You didn't poop it was beautiful!" They are fucking liars! Do not listen to these people. Know going in you are going to poop. Its ok, you can't see it and your doctor isn't going to think less of you. Be happy you pooped because the first poop after having a baby is the scariest, especially if you had to get stitches! EEK!

5) Peeing- This applies to during pregnancy and after. People say if you do kegels that it'll help! Nope! This is coming from a mom who is a master at kegels, and I still pee'd my pants when i thought I could jump with my kids at an indoor trampoline place! If you are currently pregnant, hold in every cough or sneeze you have once you hit the second trimester! Or place a pad there for safety precautions!

6) Breastfeeding- IT IS HARD! It is so very hard to get the grasp on it. Do not go into trying to nurse if you aren't willing to put in the work. Know this, IF you decide you WANT to nurse, its going to take time. This is new to your little poop machine as well. Seek out help. Support groups or lactation specialists. There are people there to help because they want you to succeed. Eventually you will get to a point where you are like "WOW! So simple and easy! Why did I have so much trouble in the beginning?" Trust your gut!

These are the 6 things I always tell my new mom friends. They suck! But hey, at least you know you aren't there alone and we all are facing it! Embrace it, you can use it as black mail when your kids start being assholes!

 Why Am I Sticky

Oh thanks, its beautiful!!! (That's a lie)

It is that time of year again! MOTHERS DAY! The day where we are suppose to be worshiped for all the living saving acts we do all year. Yes, if your children are still alive you have saved their life from you numerous times!

Dads don't always get what moms want for mothers day. They think a cute card and breakfast in bed is amazing! Then the rest of the day goes on like any other day. Cleaning, parenting, referring, and decision making.

NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!

We don't want any responsibilities that day! Basically we do not want to MOM that day! So I thought I would make a list for the gift giving impaired husbands out there!

1) SLEEP!
2) Time ALONE! This does not meant her in the bedroom with children screaming throughout the house!
3) Massage- if done by you don't make it turn to sex (well right away) and make it last more than 5 seconds
4) Spa time
5) Mani/Pedi
6) Cleaned house done by anyone but her
7) All the non good for you food
8) Forget the diamonds get me something that is going to help with my day to day responsibilities
9) To be able to shave whatever we NEED to shave without any one entering the bathroom not even ONCE!
10) Last but NOT least- Shit and Piss in PRIVATE! No audience please!!!

I promise if you get your lovely wife one of these 10 items you will sure to make it a great day for her!!!!

Why Am I Sticky

He Said Whaaaaaa?????

Do you have an asshole child? You do? Of course you do! We all have asshole children. Let me clarify, they aren't assholes ALL the time just most of the time and there is NO denying it. Just rest and have some peace that your asshole child is not as much of an asshole as my assholiest (yes I made that word up) kid!

I've been debating sharing this because, as you know it makes ME look bad! No really. I LOOK hideous! Well that's according to my kid, my first born, my pride and joy, my F*&KING asshole kid!

We were driving home from school a couple days ago. We are joking around and laughing and having a great mother son moment, or so I thought. We got on the topic of him "beating up" any boy that tries to date his little sister when she gets older. I asked "well what if it was one of your friends?" He said that would make it even worse! This made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy. Super proud of this little man that is so protective! If I knew that was going to be so short lived I would have cherished it longer and just kept my damn mouth shut! I couldn't though. I'm a smart ass. I try my all to make my kids squirm and grossed out. So I opened my mouth....I said it, "Just wait until you have a friend that say "Wow Ashton your mom is HOT!" His response was "Sorry I just cannot think of my mom as HOT it's gross". While I agreed with him that MOM and HOT do NOT belong in the same sentence. Yet, I explained it is perfectly fine to think "my mom is pretty or my mom is beautiful". That there is nothing creepy about it. No one would label him having some bizarre mommy fetish. THANK GOD!

Once I made that clear, I said "Ashton before I was married, I went out with my girlfriends and guys would buy us drinks all the time, I had guys that would approach us all the time". I wasn't prepared for the response he would give. This asshole kid of mine responded with "Well that's only because you have smoking hot friends!" FRIENDS?!?!?! (I want to give a disclaimer that yes, it is true...my friends are smoking HOT!) What mama can't get guys? Hey I got your dad! I got my husband! I got it all on my own MISTER! Of course I didn't say this to him. This was all in my head...I was speechless for a second. My mouth open in aww I turned to just star at him...heart broken, just to see him laughing so hard he can barely breathe! He thought it was the greatest "jab" he had ever given. I knew what I had to do. I do not pull this card very often because I want the effect it has to stay strong.

I cried. No bawling...just a few tears rolling down my cheeks. I wouldn't look at him to avoid laughing (I have a horrible poker face). He doesn't know this. He stopped laughing INSTANTLY! "Mom? You know I was joking right? I didn't mean to really hurt your feelings". I didn't say anything for the rest of the drive home and boy was that hard! The giggles were boiling up!

Moral of this story? A preteen that feels super guilty and bad about saying something mean to his dear mother cleans very well!

Why Am I Sticky

Well....that's awkward

HELLO!! I have been MIA for a bit and I apologize! Life definitely gets in the way of the things I enjoy sometimes! I will work more diligently to always bring you hilarious shit that happens in my life. Even the awkward moments for myself....like this story.

In our house we are very open. I may have mentioned that in the past. We use vagina, penis, balls and/or testicles whichever is the funniest for the moment. Even with being that open, mom still has moments where she just doesn't want to hear what comes out of her pre pubescent son.

 I thought talking about sex with my kids was going to be the most awkward conversation I would have with my children. It seemed to make my oldest more awkward than myself. I should have known payback was right around the corner. The crazy thing is, I did the paying back! Is that even a correct saying?

Ok so my son hasn't had new underwear in awhile, well because he's 11 and I am not inspecting the fit of his under pants any longer. I feel that is something he will need to advise of. Well when doing laundry a few weeks back I noticed that his underwear was a size 10 IN KIDS! Here is the thing, I had a break down last August when buying him school clothes. I had to buy him pants in the mens section. YUP! My 11 year old is in a 29/29 for men! So when I saw that he was still squeezing his 29/29 mans ass into a size 10 kids boxer briefs I thought this just cannot be right.

The next time he was home from his dads I asked him about it, he said they still fit fine. I of course don't believe they are fitting him the proper way and damnit I want grandchildren in the future. I told him to take of his pants (horrible to say...just horrible) that I needed to see how they were fitting him. After a melt down (from both of us) he reluctantly pulled his pants down.

YES! I knew it! I was right! Not that I am happy his shit was being squeezed to death, but that I was right....those moments are very few and far between but THIS time I had the proof.

So after humiliating him I decided I would run up to the store to buy him the proper fit of underwear. This my friends....THIS is where my payback begins!

I am looking at all these types of underwear. I know he want's boxer briefs. Simple right? Not for me! I start looking at all the patterns. Well what if he doesn't like this color? Should he have a pattern on them? Should I get a variety of colors so they match his clothes? Is he doing to look stupid in this color/pattern? FUCK! I just realized I was analyzing this as if he was going to be seen in his underwear. Who is going to see my son in his underwear? Bitches better not be seeing him in his underwear! He's too young for that shit!

I call my husband in a panic about my son growing up and how I don't want "bitches" seeing him in his underwear. My lovely husband is trying to cover his laughing and with jokes. "Oh hunny girls wont see him in underwear until next year"! Yup I terminated that call ASAP!

Moral of the story? Buy your kids the most hideous color underwear! It will definitely make you feel better!

 Why Am I Sticky

Bows and Tutus and Fun....OH MY!

       Like most little girls Tava LOVES dress up! She is beyond girly and LOOOOOVES to look like a princess!

Here is some proof!

Tava has been playing in this since she received them! She is as in love as I am!

We worked with the amazing company called The Local HummingBird. They are based out of Flagstaff, Arizona. Well I should say SHE is based there. This amazing mother Nicole makes all tutus and bows! The Local HummingBird was started in April of 2015 and already has over 500 followers!

What I love about this company is the founder wanted to start this company to show her three girls they can do anything if they set their mind to it! Not gonna lie, bitch makes me jealous that she can make such awesome things and I fuck up every Pinterest idea I come across. I am far from the "crafty mom". With having The Local HummingBird I do not feel guilty about it! Well...I digress.

The products are amazing quality and HAND MADE! There are millions of styles to choose from! Ok maybe not MILLIONS but there are TONS!

WhyAmISticky and The Local HummingBird have decided to partner together to bring you guys some awesome stuff!

Do you like what you see above? Do you or someone you know have a little girl that would rock the shit outta these amazing outfits? Would you love to win one? FOR FREE!!! I just caught all moms eyes with that one! If you are wanting to enter to win one for FREE just follow the steps below!

Follow below to enter to win!
1) Like WhyAmISticky's fb page --->  https://www.facebook.com/whyamisticky/?fref=ts
2) Like The Local HummingBirds page ---> https://www.facebook.com/The-Local-Humming-Bird-831561796910252/?fref=ts
3) Share BOTH...I repeat BOTH pages
4) Then message WhyAmISticky's Facebook page stating you have done both

Drawing will be March 1st! So do not wait!! Get to it!

Once all of this is done, we will give you a number. We will use random.org to pick the number. If your number was chosen, we will have The Local HummingBird contact you asking for colors and sizes you would like. You will receive a Tutu AND a Hair Band OR Bow of your choosing.

No number will be submitted until we have seen all requirements made! I am looking forward to seeing all these amazing littles having a blast in their OWN Local HummingBird gear! We both love seeing how happy our business and hobbies make people!

WhyAmISticky

Mother of the year award goes to.....

Want to know what is to great about being me? I have some pretty awesome friends who have some pretty hilarious shit that happen to them. My friend Tammi shared this story with me and asked to share it with all of you! I know in the moment she was hating herself. Once the horror of the moment is gone, we have to laugh at ourselves! It is the only way we will keep our sanity. Ok, the sanity we have left before having kids. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did!
I was in the kitchen, toddler at foot, attempting to get dinner – Tommy Bahama Shrimp Tacos – on the table. This is not the scene I imagined back when I was pregnant. I’m not June Clever in a perfectly pressed apron, I’m a mess, fearfully chopping pineapple as my 16 month old princess screams at my feet. Up, up, UUUPPPPPP!!! “No up” I tell her, which only escalates the situation. Sigh. Next step, shrimp. I peel away the butcher paper, only to discover that the butcher has packaged up SHELLED shrimp, not peeled and deveined. FUCK. FUUUUUCKKK. I’m fairly certain he was a bit too focused on my milk jugs to hear my order properly. I probably should have known when the shrimp rang up at $5.49/lb. Of course they’re on sale, because no one, and I mean no one, orders shelled shrimp. Ok, maybe the childless, or Julia Child, but NOT moms. Ok, NOT me. I stand there, contemplating my options. I could toss the offenders, load up the baby, haul her into the store, and stand in line to pay $19.99/lb for peeled and deveined, or I could tackle these bad boys myself. Option #2 won. As I’m elbows-deep in shrimp poo and salmonella, my toddler who has wondered into the living room, is pushing the button on her toy phone over, and over, and over, and over, and over again, so I feel pretty OK with her being out of my line of vision. Until it wasn’t OK. Until my mom-dar set it. Every cell in her body was made from my body, so when she’s in danger I feel it in my bones. Oh shit. My shrimp-poop-hands and I run, towards the stairs, dripping all the way. My teenage daughter (yes, we have a toddler AND a teenager, two teenagers actually – kill me, right? I mean, “We are so blessed”.), my teenager has left the baby gate open. She’d gone up to clean her room, which is teen-talk for take a nap. The baby is halfway up the stairs, mouth full of…something. Something BIG. In our house, it could be anything from socks to cat poop to batteries, or all three. Shit. Shit. Shit. I have to do it. I shove my shrimpy hands into her mouth and fish out what appears to be an obnoxiously large dried mango. Interesting. We haven’t had dried mango in our home for a very long time. Immediately, she demonstrates that she is displeased with the taste of shrimp poop. In the past, we’ve landed ourselves in the hospital over an egg allergy, and have recently discovered that her body also rejects tofu. I’m not taking any chances with raw shellfish. We run back to the kitchen, I soak a towel with water, but she clamps her jaws shut. The only thing I can think to do is run her mouth under the sink. She squirms violently and I’m basically water-logging her. Then it hits me – BREASTMILK – of course, its magic right? It fixes everything, right? I have her gulp down a few ounces of the magic juice before I realize I’m basically forcing her to swallow whatever bits and pieces are in her mouth. Awesome. Just then, the teenager runs down and asks me, “What are you doing to her?” My reply? “CLOSE THE GODDAMN GATE!” Damnit. Mom of the year, right here. At the end of the day, after all has settled, after a call to poison control – yeah, I went there – I realized something. Something very important that will change the course of my motherhood forever. I realized, I’m not in my 20’s and childless anymore, so why the FUCK am I making shrimp for dinner?
 

Why Am I Sticky

It's my child, it's MY choice....oh stop it!

I have talked about my children. I have told you some funny stories to ease your days. I may have made you giggle, I may have made you laugh really hard (this is my goal!). I want to dive into something I might not have shared with you.

 

This is Logan (9 years old) and Ashton (11 years old). Aren't they handsome? They are! Don't they look healthy? They AREN'T! These two amazing and smart children have a condition called "Hypoimmunoglobenemia". Basically in layman's terms, they have no immune system. They can't fight off a major sickness, let alone a cold, by themselves. Every three weeks they get a treatment called IVIG. It gives them a TEMPORARY immune system just until its time for their next treatment. The pictures below just give you a small glimpse into what we have faced so far on this journey.

I almost lost Ashton when he was 18 months old. He spent two weeks in the Pediatric ICU (PICU) at Phoenix Children's Hospital in Phoenix, AZ. Doctors told me I was lucky. He had H-Fluenza fluid fill up his entire left lung and heart sack. He had a Periacardiocentesis and a Thoracentesis, meaning they placed catheters into his heart sack and lungs to remove the fluid. He has been on this battle from day one. This is the strongest kid I have ever known. He even wrote about this for a school assignment. I will post that in the comments of this blog for anyone who would love to read it.

 

This is what my kitchen table looks like every three weeks. Needles, sterile syringes, medications, gauze, IV pole, chloraprep, and many many more items needed to give my children a decent chance of a healthy life. This is not something that they will grow out of. Unless they find a cure they will live forever with this condition. Every three weeks for the rest of their lives this is what they will spend 3-5 hours doing. 

 

Logans battle started when he was just 7 months old. We knew what to expect with him. Unlike Ashton. This doesn't mean he hasn't had his share of hospital stays, surgeries, and numerous infusions and sicknesses. When he was 7 months old, after the surgery to have his port placed, he was in the hospital the next day for possible meningitis. 

Here is where I could piss a lot of people off....

When I hear people say they did not vaccinate their children because they do not think it is necessary I want to scream! "But Amber did you not just write about accepting mothers and encouraging them to do what is best for them and their children"? Yes I did. I encourage moms to do what is best for their family. This is not about THEIR families. This is about the world. This is about continuing the human race. This is about a society that works together. We protect the people that cannot protect themselves.

Think about this:

Community (Herd) Immunity: When a critical portion of a community is immunized against a contagious disease, most members of the community are protected against that disease because there is little opportunity for an outbreak. Even those who are not eligible for certain vaccines—such as infants, pregnant women, or immuno-compromised individuals—get some protection because the spread of contagious disease is contained. This is known as "community immunity." 

*This content is brought to you by: The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID)*

 

When the "herd" stops vaccinating, people who cannot protect themselves are then at risk. Immunocompromised, young, elderly, and the pregnant cannot protect themselves against this. 

Some say "My kids can build an immunity by getting the disease and then fighting it off". Oh yes. Let me put them next to a person with Polio. You want them to fight it off themselves right? Oh wait...I don't know anyone with Polio since the VACCINE has wiped it almost into non existence. You are banking that everyone around you is vaccinated so how can your child possibly get this deadly disease? They can get it because other parents, like yourself, have chosen not to get vaccinated and bring these horrible diseases, that have cost thousands of deaths through the centuries. 

When people decide not to vaccinate their children this is what they are saying "my child is more important than any other children". Yes my children are my #1, but their is no way I would do something that would have such a huge impact on millions of peoples lives. Yes I used would and not could, simply because it does affect us. All the time. 

For example, a few months back there was an outbreak of measles. We were so close to pulling out kids from school if it hit our city. This shows because people chose not to vaccinate not only does it put mine and other peoples children's health at risk, it put their education at risk. They would have to miss school if there was a case of that. According to the CDC an estimated 20 millions people contract Measles a year. It kill about 146,000 people a year. That is 400 deaths every year which is about 17 per hour. Oh that's only about 7% you say? What if all 20 million were immunocompromised like the two handsome boys I mentioned about. I guarantee you that percentage was higher. 

Science doesn't lie. Reading the first article that pops up on google about how there is this much mercury in this and autism from that is ridiculous. Think about the big picture. Think about the world. If you child got Polio and was dying, the doctors said "Your child must get this shot to save his life, but the side effects could be ABC" would you do it, if you had a shot at saving your child's life?

Here in Arizona, it is mandatory for your dogs to be vaccinated but not your children. How does that make any sense. 

We live in such a rough world where you are going to need your neighbor, friends, family, and others to get through this. How are these people going to want to help you when you neglect their children's basic needs for sustaining a healthy life?

Why Am I Sticky

How hard can it be?

Well it's that time a year again. Valentines days is just a few short weeks away. Hubby has been sniffing around to figure out what I want. Many men have said "Women are so complicated to buy for we never know what they are wanting". REALLY?!?! Buying for a woman is pretty simple. I believe men over complicate it by over thinking it. I am going to do all men a favor and break it down VERY simplistic for you.

There are different phases in a girls life where she does want different things.

Early 20's:
Flowers
Diamonds
Chocolates
Ridiculously lame mushy love notes
Fancy dinner
*Warning, all of the items above must be a part of ONE night and it needs to be BIG*

Mid 20's:
Flowers
Chocolates
Dinner and Drinks
A cute card you put thought into
*You can get away with a single rose with heart shaped chocolate mix where she will only eat about 2 of them and have taken only one bite out of the others then realize she can't stand them*

Mothers (no age group because all moms are unanimous about this):
A Bath ALONE
Time to shave their legs ALONE
Take a shit ALONE
Not have to wipe another persons ass
Dinner (we don't care if we have to cook it but we would like to cook it ALONE!)
To eat chocolate ALONE (we are tired of sharing ALL of our shit!)
*Can you see the trend here? ALONE!*

I don't know what women that have grown children that have moved out. I haven't reached that miraculous point in life! Just kidding, I will probably move in with my kids a month after they moved out. Be the ass hole to them that they were to me growing up. I will save the details for another post.

Make sure all the men in your lives see this so they know how to get it right this year!

Why Am I Sticky

This is not what I signed up for!

When parents have babies they are overwhelmed with being with them. Constantly wanting to hold and never separate. For you new moms that are still in that stage, it wears off really quick! As parents we want them to talk then walk. Once they are doing that you just want them to sit still and shut the heck up!

Once all that happens you think "Oh kindergarten is right around the corner! I will get 7-8 hours of solid silence!" You get it too! Yeah we miss the little shits come Friday. Then we get to spend 1 1/2 glorious days with them. I say 1 1/2 because by Sunday evening you are wanting them back in school.

The schools turn against us as well. They make "breaks" for kids. Summer break, fall break, winter break, spring break, and they through in some damn ass holidays in there. This is not what I signed up for!

We just got done with winter break where I was forced to entertain my 3 children for 2 whole weeks! I let that one slide because its Christmas and shit, but they followed it up with a 4 day weekend! Now we need to have a sit down. 2 extra days of children whining about NOTHING to do! Well guess what? My back yard needs to be cleaned. My dishes need to be washed. My laundry needs to be switched and folded. That is going to be the new rule in my house. If one of my children complain that they are "bored" or "have nothing to do" I will find some cleaning for them to do. Sounds legit right? Either I will eventually have a spotless house or my children will stop complaining!

HALLELUJAH!!!!

How did I never think of this before?!?! I'm all for school "breaks" now!!! I want a clean house! Well 

I could always clean it myself, but come on lets get serious! I guess school won't be as annoying as before! Hell, I might even enjoy the little turd nuggets for a couple extra days!

Why Am I Sticky

 

Breast or Not to Breast....

Hello moms. You know what realization I came to 3 years into becoming a mother 8 years ago? Motherhood (ok fine even fatherhood) is the only job that does not come with a manual? No training courses. No "how to" section. Well the last one there kind of is, but that does not cover everyone. You can always ask for peoples advice, but you will get a different answer from everyone. Want to know why? BECAUSE WE ALL ARE DIFFERENT! And that's ok.

The past week I saw a video circulating Facebook. This video struck such a nerve for me that I wanted to write about it. The video was Alyssa Milano's interview with Wendy Williams. Alyssa is such an amazing advocate for breastfeeding mamas. She does not care where she is or who she is around, the need of her child is more important than anyone's feelings about it. If you haven't watched it the link is below.

https://youtu.be/WuSyBxzEjA0

Your nose is made to breathe and hinder particles from getting into your body. Your vagina is made to deliver babies. Mens penises are made to procreate. Each body part has a purpose! What makes breast so taboo that we cannot use them for what they are made for? People will argue that breasts are sexual and that its inappropriate for it to be shown in public. OMG! How did I not know this? I am SOOOO glad that no one ever shows their boobs, hell not even side boob since that is normally how much breast is shown during breastfeeding. Everyone follows that rule right?

I'm glad we see absolutely NO boob because how horrible would that be?

I wrong move JLO and you will be ridiculed by EVERYONE!

If breasts are only sexual, is Miley having sex with everyone watching her?

Some will say the pictures above are from awards shows or movie premieres what kids will see that? We worry about the kids seeing BREASTS! Oh you are right kids probably won't watch this.

But how about regular tv?

Lovely Kate Upton on a Carls Jr Commercial...they will air it any time they want

Even just showing this so far some will say "HEY NOW! When you are breast feeding you can potentially see a nipple!" Ummm well if you want to go that far dipshit, the only time you MIGHT see a nipple is if the baby unexpectedly pulls off during the nursing session. Ok so you are saying nipples are bad? Ok, I get it. No nipples....but wait...I am confused....

What is in place of this mans nipples? 

Yes an inexperienced mother may show a nip here and there when latching and unlatching the baby. But it is such a short thing that unless YOU are STARING are her nipples, which lets be honest you would be the creep then not her, you wouldn't even notice.

What do you see that is wrong with this picture? Nothing right? It is purely beautiful!

This awesome mommies doesn't even have a shirt on, I can't see nipple can you? NOPE! Just happy full baby!

Even with larger breast women you can't see a whole lot! Wait...I stand corrected...I see a whole lot of love and connection going on here

 

 

Don't believe the myth you can't have skin to skin or nurse your baby if you have a C-Section...this mama definitely rocked it!

Lets play out this scenario for you haters. Imagine you are flying somewhere, and there is a new mom on the plane but since obviously breast feeding is so "UNNATURAL" (f*cking ridiculous) the baby is crying and crying and crying! Would you rather hear THAT or see THIS?

Baby and passengers are happy. 

You would not even know this was happening unless you were looking for it. The only problem with breast feeding is people who do not support breast feeding.

So lets recap with these two pictures:

 

I want to end with this last thought. It does not go out to the people that hate breast feeders in public, it goes out to SOME  breast feeding mamas. Just because you see someone NOT breast feeding their child does not mean they do not care about the health of their child. It does NOT mean they gave up. It does NOT mean they are selfish. Think about this, was the mother too sick to nurse? Did the mother beat herself up horribly because she couldn't make any milk? Was this child adopted?

This little one was adopted and couldn't be nursed because of the state of the biological mother.

No mom knows the story behind another mom. We need to support each other even if we do things differently.

STOP JUDGING! 

I LOVE ALL YOU MAMAS! I know my posts are more humorous than this one, but it is something I feel strongly about. Thank you to all the amazing mommies that shared their pictures and stories with me! You are helping spread the world of acceptance and love! 

Why Am I Sticky 

What was I thinking?!?!

I do not know if I was drinking, smoking, or having a mini stroke but I decided I wanted to take the kids on a trip up north to Flagstaff so they could see snow. "It is going to be great!", "The kids will love it", and "We will get major parent kudos" I tell my husband. All of it was true! Our kids loved it and had a blast! I did leave one thing out when telling my husband what will come from this 1 day vacation. I did not tell him we would want to kill all 3 children AND each other by the time we got home. I did not tell him that we will have probably curse at each other and call each other names because we cannot say it to the ones we want to, our children.

30 minutes into the road trip kids are driving us crazy=he's a dick 

Annoying him is what I do best

You know those moments you want to tell your 11 year old son that "Your acting like your damn vagina is bigger than mine and you need to man the fuck up!" but you say it to your husband because you do not want to traumatize your child. You know your husband is as fucked up as he's going to get so you don't care what you say to him.

Once you get to your destination is usually when things lighten up. This is NOT the case when the place you visit is 20 degrees colder than what you are use to. When you have to wear clothes like you are visiting Alaska, you are FUCKED!

We are smiling because the kids are off with Grandma and Papa for 2 minutes

We were done in the snow and thought "YES! They ran and played like crazy when we get to the hotel they will pass the F out!" NOPE! They were hyped to be sleeping in an effing hotel room! WTF? As soon as I yell at one to stop doing something the other one does it. "Are you effing deaf?! What did I just tell your brother?" I said this like 5 times with in 20 minutes. This is all happening as my husband is passing out to the NyQuil he just took (asshole). Tava couldn't figure out where she wanted to sleep, with us? The floor? With us? The tub? I am now regretting not packing the damn Benadryl.

Finally the next morning comes so we can go home. Everyone is so excited. When I say everyone I mean us adults! We are all smiles and know we now have things to hold over our childrens heads when they decide to be little douche bags. "Oh you want to throw a fit because we are not going out to dinner? Do you remember when we took you to Flagstaff and let you do this and that and this? REMEMBER THAT? HUH? BECAUSE I REMEMBER!!!" Oh yes...we have about a good 3 months of throwing this in their faces.

As you can what this ONE day vacation did to my father!

Here are a few from the actual fun times :)