In our house we are very open. I may have mentioned that in the past. We use vagina, penis, balls and/or testicles whichever is the funniest for the moment. Even with being that open, mom still has moments where she just doesn't want to hear what comes out of her pre pubescent son.
I thought talking about sex with my kids was going to be the most awkward conversation I would have with my children. It seemed to make my oldest more awkward than myself. I should have known payback was right around the corner. The crazy thing is, I did the paying back! Is that even a correct saying?
Ok so my son hasn't had new underwear in awhile, well because he's 11 and I am not inspecting the fit of his under pants any longer. I feel that is something he will need to advise of. Well when doing laundry a few weeks back I noticed that his underwear was a size 10 IN KIDS! Here is the thing, I had a break down last August when buying him school clothes. I had to buy him pants in the mens section. YUP! My 11 year old is in a 29/29 for men! So when I saw that he was still squeezing his 29/29 mans ass into a size 10 kids boxer briefs I thought this just cannot be right.
The next time he was home from his dads I asked him about it, he said they still fit fine. I of course don't believe they are fitting him the proper way and damnit I want grandchildren in the future. I told him to take of his pants (horrible to say...just horrible) that I needed to see how they were fitting him. After a melt down (from both of us) he reluctantly pulled his pants down.
YES! I knew it! I was right! Not that I am happy his shit was being squeezed to death, but that I was right....those moments are very few and far between but THIS time I had the proof.
So after humiliating him I decided I would run up to the store to buy him the proper fit of underwear. This my friends....THIS is where my payback begins!
I am looking at all these types of underwear. I know he want's boxer briefs. Simple right? Not for me! I start looking at all the patterns. Well what if he doesn't like this color? Should he have a pattern on them? Should I get a variety of colors so they match his clothes? Is he doing to look stupid in this color/pattern? FUCK! I just realized I was analyzing this as if he was going to be seen in his underwear. Who is going to see my son in his underwear? Bitches better not be seeing him in his underwear! He's too young for that shit!
I call my husband in a panic about my son growing up and how I don't want "bitches" seeing him in his underwear. My lovely husband is trying to cover his laughing and with jokes. "Oh hunny girls wont see him in underwear until next year"! Yup I terminated that call ASAP!
Moral of the story? Buy your kids the most hideous color underwear! It will definitely make you feel better!
Why Am I Sticky
